Changing with the Seasons

Winter prompted a withdrawal from the world, where my sole focus was resisting the temptation to doom-scroll or sleepwalk my way through each day. Despite my efforts to be intentional about my time, the entire season passed in the blink of an eye, and yet it feels like a lifetime ago when I took the day of the solstice to reflect on how far I’d come, where I wanted to go next, and how I’d get there.

Since the publication of Unraveled, I’ve been on a slow decline from riding the high of being a newly published author. The rush of excitement and energy has settled, and I’ve found myself in (yet another) reflective state of mind. I think one of my misconceptions about publishing a book was that the roaring energy that flooded through me as we approached publication day would stick around forever.

Spoiler: it hasn’t.

What’s left in the wake of buzzing anticipation is pride, first of all, at having reached such a milestone, but also the realization that this is the start of a new chapter in life. It doesn’t feel like it because many things remain the same—my day job, my inconveniently long commute to work, my friend groups—but I can feel things changing. As the wintry days give way to warmer weather and clearer skies, I feel like I’m also waking up from my own little hibernation period.

In the literal sense, I’m waking up earlier. I’m striving for a slightly more active lifestyle by going for morning jogs—not because of any internal or external pressure to stay healthy, but simply because my body is still young and strong enough to do so. Running is a habit I picked up in college, but like many others during the pandemic, I tucked myself away and fell out of practice. It’s been good to revive a habit I genuinely enjoyed when I was younger; it’s almost a revival of the self, if you want to get philosophical about it.

On a deeper level, I’m stepping out of the hermit’s shell, so to speak, and adopting a more participatory role in society. Drafting a new novel (more on this to come) means soliciting more local coffee shops, and it’s a bit funny to me how quickly I’ve earned “regular” status at some of the places nearby, especially considering that I’m a barista myself. It’s almost like going incognito. Nevertheless, I’m enjoying the exploration of different shops, the interactions I have with the workers, the quiet moments of people-watching when I need a break from writing. These are the little joys I’m holding onto, the pockets of light that bring a much-needed freshness to each day.

This year is already three months old. Time seems to blur faster and faster each day, bringing with it an impending sense of doom and panic that I haven’t done anything of note—but that’s simply not true. On the writing front, I’m about halfway through the first draft of my next book, which I hope to have finished by the end of summer at the latest—although, I anticipate it’ll be sooner than that. The announcement post won’t go up until the draft is finished, though, so keep an eye out for progress updates on my Instagram stories! There’s another ~secret project~ that I’ve been sitting on for nearly a year at this point, and I think we’re getting close to being ready to share the news. I’ve also been in contact with some folks in the literary community (I promise this will be less vague soon), which resulted in some additional exciting opportunities to push myself further into the public eye.

What a strange feeling—being excited to be perceived. I never imagined I’d be comfortable with that, but this year is proving itself to be one of great change. I might as well embrace it. We are in the Year of the Snake, after all, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not the only one experiencing a “shedding of old skin” to make room for something new.